Staying in touch with birth family after adoption
For all children who move to live with adoptive families it is important that the social workers involved give very careful consideration to how they can be helped to stay in touch with their birth families if a child has a staying in touch (contact) plan.
This may include their siblings who are living elsewhere, their birth parents or other significant adults in their life. This can be indirect through information sharing (such as letters, emails or cards), or direct through phone calls, video calls or in-person meetings.
If you choose to adopt through PACT, this is something you will have the opportunity to learn more about during your adoption preparation training and assessment.
Why is staying in touch with birth family important?
- Staying in touch with birth relatives and significant people from their past can help children understand their identity.
- Adopted children need to know and understand their history in order to help them make sense of their past.
- Staying in touch with a child’s birth family can support their wellbeing and contribute to a more successful adoption.
- You would receive support and training from PACT, such as our maintaining relationships workshop, about the different ways to stay in touch and the benefits of this.
We’ve met up with their half-sibling and so far it’s been a really positive experience – the boys have been able to maintain that link with their past and build a connection with blood relatives, as well as finding out things we couldn’t tell them. It seemed a very frightening step but for us it’s been so worth it.
PACT adoptive dad, Nick
Having met [their birth mother], I feel a warmth towards her, which I think is transferred to my children and we have lots of lovely discussions about her. It is so important for our children to understand where they have come from and for them to find a place in our family now and forever.
PACT adoptive mum who met her children’s birth mother
They both cried quite a lot but they really opened up when we started asking them questions about the boys. What were they like as babies? Had our youngest always had his cheeky laugh? Have they always been so obsessed with dressing up? Their faces genuinely lit up when they talked about the boys and we even shared some laughter.
PACT adoptive dad who met his children’s birth mother and birth grandmother
Adoptive mum Mariana* speaks about meeting her children’s birth mother
Useful resources:
- Birth Family Contact and Being Open: with Nicky Campbell and Professor Beth Neil – You Can Adopt
- Identity, Openness and Birth Family Contact with Nick Ede – You Can Adopt
- Adoptive Parents Maintaining Relationships with Birth Parents – Adoption England
PACT will be there for you
We understand that contact with birth family, whether direct or indirect, can bring up lots of feelings and emotions for everyone involved – that’s why PACT will be there to support you and your family if you need it. Read more about our life-long adoption support here.
Our goal is to help every child reach their full potential and to ensure every adoptive parent feels supported, empowered and connected. 
