Adoption leave is a unique and precious time. It’s not just about bonding – it’s about building trust, creating safety, and gently helping your child transition into their new family. Whether you’re adopting a baby, toddler, or older child, the early days are filled with opportunities to connect in ways that are healing, nurturing, and fun.
Here are 10 meaningful activities you can do with your child during adoption leave, inspired by the Becoming Family: Placement Guide written by Senior Social Worker Clare Ewer from PACT’s strengthening families team.
Ten things to do while on adoption leave
1. Create a treasure hunt around the house to help your child explore their new home
Let your child explore their new home with a playful treasure hunt. Encourage them to look in cupboards, under beds, and behind doors. This helps them feel safe and familiar with their environment – and gives you a chance to gently introduce boundaries: “This cupboard will be locked later because it holds cleaning products.”
2. Play the ‘caring for hurts’ game
Using a pot of scented cream, pretend to find and soothe little “hurts” on their hands or fingers. This Theraplay-inspired activity helps children accept nurture and shows them you care about their physical and emotional wellbeing. It’s a gentle way to build trust and connection.
3. Decorate a memory box together to support your child’s past connections
If your child misses people from their past – siblings, foster carers, or others – create a decorated shoebox where they can place drawings, letters, or special items. This gives them a safe space to express grief and hold onto important memories.
4. Start a ‘pasta in a pot’ jar
Every time your child does something kind, brave, or thoughtful, drop a piece of uncooked pasta into a jar. At bedtime, place the pasta in their hands and tell them why it’s there. For example: “You were so kind to that little boy in the park.” This builds self-worth and celebrates their strengths.
5. Wave to the stars at bedtime to ease bedtime anxiety
Bedtime can be tough for adopted children. As part of your routine, look out the window together and wave or blow kisses to people they miss. This simple ritual can be comforting and help them feel connected even when apart.
6. Make family mealtimes playful and safe
If sitting at the table feels too intense, try sitting beside them or offer a small box of mealtime toys. Play games like “I Spy” or “Would You Rather” to ease anxiety and make meals more relaxed. Offer pre-meal snacks if they struggle with waiting due to past food insecurity.
7. Draw matching hearts for support with separation
Transitions can be hard. Before nursery, school, or even a short separation, draw matching hearts on your wrists and press them together. It’s a symbolic way to stay connected and reassure your child that you’ll be thinking of them.
8. Introduce ‘Jeremy the pocket mouse’ to help with separation anxiety
For anxious children, sew a small toy mouse into their pocket and spray it with your scent. Teach them to hold it and think of you when they feel worried. At the end of the day, ask Jeremy how his day was – you might be surprised by what he shares!
9. Strengthen family bonds and build a photo book of your life together
Start a photo book with pictures from your first days together. Leave space for future memories and talk about what you’ll add next year. This helps your child see a future with you and reinforces the idea that they’re here to stay.
10. Celebrate small wins together
Keep a journal of small victories: a smile, a cuddle, a moment of calm. Share these with your child and celebrate together. These moments matter and recognising them helps build resilience and joy.
Making the most of adoption leave
Adoption leave isn’t just time off – it’s time in. Time to be present, to listen, to nurture, and to grow together. These activities aren’t about perfection – they’re about connection. As one adoptive parent shared: “Perfect parents teach children nothing. It’s the repair that matters.”
So, take it slow, be kind to yourself, and remember: you’re not just building a routine – you’re building a family.
For post-adoption support and information about adoption leave, Children and Trauma Community Hub (CATCH) is here to help. Our online community provides information and support for adopters, guardians, foster carers and professionals, whether you are in the initial stages of the adoption process or have been a parent for many years. Sign up to CATCH here to feel as prepared as possible for your adoption journey.
