Our first Christmas🎄

Our first Christmas as a family of four was 10 years ago. Mia was seven, and Poppy, who we’d only welcomed a few months before, was two-and-a-half. We began a tradition of choosing a new tree decoration each year, visiting the garden centre turned festive wonderland, and decorating the tree whilst listening to Christmas songs. Over time, our tree has become a joyful collection of dangling baubles, woodland creatures and quirky ornaments.

On the first Christmas Eve, there was lots of anticipation. The girls slept in the same room – a tradition that still lives on! We agreed Father Christmas would leave presents under the tree, not in their rooms, which made them feel more comfortable. Coming downstairs together on Christmas morning was magical. Mia received a teddy from her grandparents which she hugged tightly and ever since, she calls my father “Bear”. 

In those early days, Noah and I were careful to treat the girls equally – even counting presents! But we soon realised it wasn’t about the gifts, it was about time spent together.

The girls are very different. Where Mia wanted to play make believe with her dolls and play food, Poppy has always been about making a mess with paint, playdough and glitter. These differences brought up some challenges that PACT’s Strengthening Families Team supported us with through workshops and phone calls. Speaking to someone who understood us without being judged was amazing.

When Mia started school, she began expressing grief for her birth mum. PACT ran a workshop to explore attachment and the love that surrounded her in her adoptive family.

Primary school brought with it happy Christmas memories too, one that Mia still remembers vividly:

One year at school, they had a secret grotto. I saw a colourful bead necklace that I knew my Mum would love. I was so excited to give it to her on Christmas Day that I almost told her what it was beforehand! I find keeping secrets difficult. It was the same when we made some silver cufflinks with my fingerprints on for my Dad. Luckily I couldn’t remember the word cufflinks, so I didn’t give the game away.”

Mia’s Dad loves those cufflinks to this day.

I’ll never forget that first Christmas together as a family of four. It felt like we had truly become a family, and that was a powerful moment.

Christmases since 💕

So, what have our Christmases been like since our first as a family of four? Special. Even more special with the different traditions we have built over time, like going for a walk to the park after lunch but this seems to be less popular as the girls get older!

My daughters, Mia and Poppy have festive traditions they look forward to!

Mia:

“I love the traditions we have at Christmas as they are the same each year so I know what’s going to happen. We get up early (very early) to open our presents and my Mum always gets a bin bag for the rubbish and my Dad takes photos of us opening our presents. I now love sharing Christmas with my sister and helping her with her presents.”

Poppy:

“I like watching Christmas films with the family, like Home Alone and all the Princess Diaries ones on Netflix. I really liked the film ‘Daddy’s Home 2’ because it shows that families don’t have to be perfect to enjoy Christmas.”

The holidays also bring a welcome break from school. For Poppy, this has been a time to recharge and unwind but for Mia, it used to be a source of anxiety with the countdown to school weighing on her mind. School and adolescence have been challenging, and making friends hasn’t always come easily. PACT’s craft and drama workshops helped Poppy connect with other adopted children in a supportive environment. Mia found joy through Adoptee Voices activities like the Tree Top Challenge, where young adoptees came together for fun and confidence-building.

Weekly chats with a PACT Adopter Champion helped me understand the challenges of adolescence. PACT’s Adopter Champions are adoptive parents themselves so talking to someone who understood what we were going through helped a million. With their support, Poppy accessed art therapy to explore how her early trauma and visual impairment affect her learning. I am so proud of her for this. She has shown deep understanding and resilience, as well as a caring nature towards other students with learning difficulties.

Thinking more about school in the festive season, Poppy particularly enjoys and looks forward to the nativity.

Poppy:

I love the school nativity, I kept being an angel each year and then we moved house and I changed school, and finally I was a sheep.”

Christmas and family are words that go together for me. School is out and when all the shops are closed, it’s a time to spend an extended amount of uninterrupted time together.

Wishes for Christmases to come 🌟

As Christmas 2025 approaches, I look forward to life slowing down and being at home together as a family. The girls bring Christmas to life and we all share in their joy, excitement and the magic they create.

What are my girls looking forward to and wishing for this Christmas?

Mia:

“Christmas has always been a family time for me. I love the feel of Christmas in the air, like when the Christmas songs come out. My favourite one is ‘All I want for Christmas is you’. I always sing along to that, and my parents laugh because I sing it exactly like her. When she sings, “I don’t care about the presents underneath the Christmas tree”, it just reminds me of how exciting Christmas Day is.”

Poppy:

“I love the food at Christmas, but I don’t like turkey as it’s so chewy, so we have chicken instead. I look forward to tins of Quality Street and Roses, where I can help myself to my favourite ones. I like the strawberry and orange ones the best. I can’t wait to sleep in my sister’s room on Christmas Eve even though she can be a bit bossy!”

This Christmas will be especially meaningful. Poppy will have completed her first term at secondary school. Since receiving support from PACT’s Specialist Education Worker and moving Poppy to a smaller, more inclusive secondary school that embraces diversity and disability, we’ve already seen a positive difference. Her academic progress is accelerating as she feels more confident. Meanwhile, Mia will be one term closer to finishing her apprenticeship at a top hair salon.

Christmas feels like the end of a cycle and the start of a new one, marking another year as a family together. It’s a shared celebration that brings everyone together for a special day without the spotlight being on one person. Ultimately, Christmas is all about the quality time we get to spend together as a family!

Knowing PACT is there for our family, and all the other families, women and children who need it, is so important. Please support PACT this Christmas so they can continue helping children, women and families for many years to come. Donate today.

Merry Christmas,

From Jodie, Mia, Poppy and Noah

*Names changed in line with confidentiality