Aidan* and Julien* adopted their son Casey* through PACT. They are a couple of mixed heritage; Aidan is Black British of Caribbean heritage and Julien is White French.
The couple spoke about adopting as a path to parenthood early in their relationship.
“We both agreed that adoption was the path that made the most sense for us, not just logistically as gay men, but because we both felt passionate about giving a child a loving, stable home.”
The first time Aidan and Julien approached an adoption agency, they went through a local authority. Unfortunately, their first meeting was “a bit disheartening.” At the time, the couple didn’t have a spare room for a child, which is essential to continue with the adoption process. They put the idea of adopting on hold for a few years.
At last, Aidan and Julien moved into a flat with an empty room so decided to give it another go – this time with a voluntary adoption agency.
“Taking that first step again was a mix of emotions: excitement, nervousness and hope all over again. We were ready to commit fully to the journey ahead.”
Aidan and Julien found the adoption process a positive experience and a “great learning experience for both of us”.
We understood why the process is as thorough as it is. It isn’t about delays or red tape – it’s about making sure you’re fully prepared for the journey ahead. For us, it was a meaningful and necessary step toward becoming parents.”
“PACT did a fantastic job preparing us for what to expect at every stage. They were very clear and supportive, which really helped to take a lot of the mystery out of the process.”
There was, of course, some stress along the way.
“There were moments of stress, particularly around the panels. Thankfully, our social worker was incredibly reassuring throughout. She reminded us that we wouldn’t even be going to the panel unless she and the rest of the team were confident that we were ready. It wasn’t always easy, but we felt supported the entire way through, which made a huge difference.”
Early in the process, Aidan and Julien knew they wanted to adopt a child of African Caribbean heritage.
“There’s an overrepresentation of children of Black and mixed heritage waiting to be adopted, so when a potential adopter shares part of a child’s cultural identity, it’s seen as a strength rather than a barrier.”
Being able to understand the world these children will grow up in, whether it’s through shared experiences of racial challenges or simply celebrating a common cultural heritage, is such an important thing. It provides a foundation for children to feel seen, understood, and celebrated for who they are.”
*Names changed in line with confidentiality
After being matched with their son Casey, the couple met him for the first time.
“There was an immediate, unquestionable connection, solidified when he peacefully fell asleep in our arms.”
When Casey moved in, Julien and Aiden said: “It was a period of adjustment for everyone, a significant life change, but his amazing nature and the strong foundation laid by his foster carer allowed deep attachments to form rapidly.”
Having a shared cultural heritage with his son, Aidan says, is amazing.
“As a Black British man with Caribbean roots, I love sharing with him the stories of my grandparents and other members of the Windrush generation.”
Aidan and Julien celebrate Casey’s cultural heritage in their daily lives.
“The food we cook, the cultural moments we celebrate, the museums and exhibitions we visit, and even the books we choose to read are all ways we embrace and honour the heritage of our family. It’s not just about acknowledging our son’s background but making it a cherished and visible part of our lives together.”
The beauty of it all is that our child is growing up in a multicultural society, and that’s something we fully embrace and celebrate in our home. It’s about weaving all the threads of our identities together to create a rich and supportive environment where he feels rooted, confident and proud of who he is.”
To anyone who is LGBTQ+ and considering adoption, Aidan said:
“Our experience adopting as two dads has been very positive, and PACT made it clear from the start that being gay wouldn’t be a barrier. Our lived experiences like resilience, overcoming rejection, or navigating a world that doesn’t always understand us, have helped us develop empathy, adaptability and a deep commitment to creating a loving and accepting home.”
“We also help our son understand the diversity of families by sharing stories through books and connecting with other adoptive families.”
There have been so many memorable moments of their adoption journey so far.
The small everyday moments are just as special – watching him develop his own personality, his likes and dislikes, and his wonderful sense of humour. It’s incredible to see glimpses of ourselves in him while he grows into his own unique person.”
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