Alice and Ethan adopted twins with additional needs

Layla and Poppy both have moderate learning difficulties and developmental delay as well as epilepsy.

Alice and Ethan met in Paris when Ethan attended a church group that Alice ran. It was when the couple visited a project in Romania called Caminul Felix, that they decided adoption was something they wanted to do. The project, which translates to ‘The Happy Home’, aims to place orphaned and abandoned children in a family as this, they say, is the best place for a child.

Fast forward a few years and the couple decided they were ready to adopt and were “on a mission” to do so. Alice was booking tickets for an adoption and fostering information conference on the Home for Good website when she read the words ‘could you adopt five-year-old twins?’.

Layla and Poppy had been part of a child-specific family finding campaign run by PACT, which aimed to give children who had been waiting a long time another chance of finding a loving, permanent adoptive family. Alice said she had always had a connection to twins. As a child, her favourite dolls were twins and she had a twin toy pram for them. So when Alice saw the posting about the girls, she thought “it was meant to be.”

The adoption process took nine months. In the early stage of the process, Alice and Ethan had to remain persistent as they didn’t live in PACT’s usual catchment area. “We felt we had everything needed to provide these girls with a home and distance shouldn’t stop that.”

Alice said: “The adoption process was full-on and hard work but our social worker Louise was absolutely incredible and helped bring our family together.” Louise often travelled to where the couple lived at the time to carry out assessments and give support.

The couple had a contact meeting with the children’s parents. “It was emotional and when I shook hands with the children’s birth mother I held on. I just wanted to hug her! We are glad we had the chance to meet them and would recommend it to anyone who gets the opportunity.”

The couple met the girls and their foster carer for the first time at a play area. Alice recalls the moment when one of them was on the top of the slide and put her arms out to Alice to help her down. “It was incredible.”

When Layla and Poppy moved in with Alice and Ethan, “it was like they’d always been there.” Leading up to their move, Alice had been very anxious as she felt like she was turning their lives upside down.

Alice said: “In their foster home, our girls learned what a family was, but they knew it wasn’t their family. So when the twins moved in and slowly met the rest of our families, it was as if they just knew this was their family.”

Alice recalls how quickly the girls grew in the first couple of years due to their newfound stability. “They thrived.”

School is one of the biggest challenges that the girls have faced. Alice and Ethan have had to fight for the girls to receive accessible learning that challenges Layla and Poppy to reach their potential.

If we were happy for them to just bobble on, there wouldn’t be a challenge. But we’ve always said that they are capable of more than people give them credit for.”

*Names changed in line with confidentiality

Alice’s family received a lot of support from PACT post-placement. In one instance, when the girls first moved in, Layla experienced night terrors. Layla was supported by PACT’s Family And Children Therapeutic Support team (FACTS) where she received therapy. “We weren’t ashamed to pick up the phone and say we need support.”

When asked about the couple’s four children and the sibling dynamic, Alice said: “The girls can sometimes struggle with jealousy but ultimately watching the girls love their brothers and be loved by their brothers is amazing.”

Layla, Poppy and Casey all grew up together. “Despite Casey being many years younger, it gave the girls a chance to go back to their early childhood and experience what they had missed out on. When Casey was ready to move onto Lego, that’s when the girls moved onto Lego.”

The twins are moving into Year 11. They are at a specialist school so will not be doing GCSEs but instead, they will focus on life skills. After that, Alice and Ethan hope that Layla and Poppy will be able to take part in college-link whereby they will spend some time in a mainstream college and the rest of the time at the specialist school.

I have no doubt that the girls are capable of contributing to society, whether that be through voluntary or paid work. I believe they can do something – whatever that might be.”

Alice said: “The girls’ bond is really, really special and they are best friends. The twins have several hobbies and groups that they attend including Irish dancing and horse riding. The Irish dancing class is mainstream which is really good for the girls and once they reach 18 years old, they can move up to the adult group.”   

Alice said that there have been so many highlights. She loves watching the girls thrive and grow. “It’s their smiles, it’s their eyes. I see their eyes sparkling and for us, that’s a huge highlight.”

Another is seeing the girls handle situations that in the past they wouldn’t have been able to. Alice describes the moment that this year on a holiday to Paris the twins ordered candyfloss by themselves in French for the first time. “Layla put her shoulders back and walked over there and Poppy followed. They came back with candyfloss and beaming faces.”

Up until now, visiting Disneyland Paris has always been Alice and Ethan with either their girls or their boys – not all of them together. Yet this year, Alice told her husband “I think we’re at the stage that next year we can do it with the four of them. The girls are now able to regulate themselves better.”

To anyone considering adoption, Alice said:

If it’s the right thing for you, do it. It’s incredible. The support is there, you just sometimes have to fight for it. We’ve had ups and downs but we’ve never ever regretted adopting.”

“You have to be selfless to adopt. It can’t be about you, it’s always got to be about the child.”