Chloe* and Dan* adopted Megan* through PACT following an early permanence placement (sometimes referred to as fostering for adoption). Megan was five weeks old when she was placed with the couple in 2018.
Chloe, a special needs teacher, said they chose to adopt because of a hereditary condition affecting Dan’s family which his father had died of and which they did not wish to pass on to future generations.
“We are also both passionate about how many children there are in this world who need parents. For us, adoption, was just the right thing to do.”
After some online research the couple arranged to attend three adoption information events, and chose to proceed with PACT as they liked the agency’s personal approach.
“They were so encouraging and friendly, and happy to answer all our questions. They really took the time with us.”
From the start Chloe and Dan were open to the idea of early permanence, although as the process went on, they become more aware of the risks involved and were less inclined towards this route.
They were then sent a profile of an unborn little girl.
“It was only a quarter of a page long, there wasn’t much to go on at all. Our social worker Carly sat down with us for an hour and a half and we talked through whether this was a route we wanted to go down given the risks involved.
“We then heard that she had been born, and had a name. The more we spoke about it with Carly, and the more we heard about this little girl, I just knew.
“We did think about it long and hard, and went into it with our eyes wide open, but there were just these little things, like her birth date was meaningful for us and the timing of her being born just a few days after we were approved, it did really feel like it was meant to be.”
The couple met Megan when she was five weeks old and six days later she came home with them.
Chloe said: “Everyone says don’t fall in love with the child you are fostering – there is always the chance they will not stay with you. But I couldn’t help it. The moment we set eyes on her we were in love with her.”
She said one of the hardest parts of the placement was parental contact meetings as well as the fear that Megan could be returned to her parents.
They also had to endure a very stressful last-minute delay to the placement order being approved by the courts.
“It was always there, right until the placement order finally went through, that feeling that someone was going to take away the baby that you love.”
But Chloe says despite all they went through it was completely worthwhile and she would not hesitate to choose early permanence again, even over straightforward adoption.
“It is an emotional rollercoaster but it’s the best thing I’ve ever done. I think one of the main advantages about Foster for Adoption is that, as hard as it is and despite all the emotional stress at the end of it all, my little girl knows no different. She came to us at five weeks old and all she will ever know is me and my husband – she has just thrived being with us.”
Chloe said Megan, who is now eight months old, was doing incredibly well.
“She’s a little firecracker! She’s very vocal and just started to stand up. She’s into everything – just as bright as a button.”
“I am 100 per cent convinced she was made for us and we were made for her. I just couldn’t imagine my life without her. She is my entire world.”
*Names changed in line with confidentiality
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